He’s a major heartthrob with the ladies. When giving his Hotmail address, he often has to clarify it’s not spelled “hot M-A-L-E”.
Actually, I just wrote that in third person so it would sound more
authoritative and less obvious that I made it up… Here’s the real scoop on me:
Corporate: Alcoa, Methanex, ABN-Amro, Fluke, Larson Gross PLLC, AAEFS, Varner Sytsma Herndon, A & A Contract Customs Brokers, Nike Securities LP., Limona Construction, Investors Group, Geneva Capital Group, etc.
Venues: Mt. Baker Theatre, Summit Theatre, Drury Lane, Four Seasons
To show how sharp I am, within six months of entering the comedy club scene, The Late Show with David Letterman asked us to come to New York!
I’m originally from Scotland, and still haven’t been able to drop my accent (as you’ll see during the show).
People get a kick out of my candid observations on American life… I’m just expressing my honest point of view, and getting paid! Actually, they’re paying the Ventriloquist. He’s the one keeping the dough – for my show!
Some lawyers are working “pro bono” (since I’m broke) to get me paid
retroactively for all the laughs I’ve created. Seriously, people don’t know that the Ventriloquist is about the worst entertainer in the world, and without me, the show would flop!
Our show is only a success because of “me.” Yes, I said it… Dolton
doesn’t realize it, but he’s just an “opener.” He simply gets the audience warmed up so I can strut my stuff…
When Seahawks superstar Mack Strong said this is the “FUNNIEST ACT HE’S EVER SEEN!,” it was probably because of me. Also, I performed at the Olympics.
We don’t really like mentioning his name, so we’ll just go with the generic “Ventriloquist.”
To be candid, he’s a waste of skin. We do all the work around here. We’re up late at night working on comedy material, etc. He just sits around and collects the royalties. It’s sick!
Here are some shows that he was present at (he didn’t do much):
Corporate: Alcoa, Methanex, ABN-Amro, Fluke, Larson Gross PLLC, AAEFS, Varner Sytsma Herndon, A & A Contract Customs Brokers, Nike Securities L.P., Limona Construction, Investors Group, Geneva Capital Group, Frontier Realty, Wheaton College, etc.
Venues: Mt. Baker Theatre, Summit Theatre, Drury Lane, U.S. Army,
Bear Creek Country Club, Four Seasons, Grand Ballroom Chicago
Navy Pier, Harrison Hot Springs Resort, Bankers Club of Chicago
Television: Evening Magazine (NBC KING 5 Seattle, NBC KGW 8
Portland and Northwest Cable News) in 2007, 2008, 2011 and 2012
Film: Documentary on Ventriloquism by Miramax Films
World’s Most Sought After Natural-Born Ventriloquist