Comedian Ventriloquist

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Dolton at his favorite coffee shop, Biff’s

He’s a major heartthrob with the ladies. When giving his Hotmail address, he often has to clarify it’s not spelled “hot M-A-L-E”.

Actually, I just wrote that in third person so it would sound more authoritative and less obvious that I made it up…

To show how sharp I am, within six months of entering the comedy club scene, The Late Show with David Letterman asked us to come to New York!

Our comedy is clean, non-offensive and, most importantly, FUNNY! Except, of course, for the ventriloquist’s jokes – they’re not funny. (mine are amazing)

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Image of Tony Comedy VentriloquismI’m originally from Scotland, and still haven’t been able to drop my accent (as you’ll see during the show).

People get a kick out of my candid observations on American life… I’m just expressing my honest point of view, and getting paid!

Actually, they’re paying the Ventriloquist. He’s the one keeping the dough – for my show!

Some lawyers are working “pro bono” (since I’m broke) to get me paid retroactively for all the laughs I’ve created.

Seriously, people don’t know that the Ventriloquist is about the worst entertainer in the world, and without me, the show would flop!

Image of brand logoOur show is only a success because of “me.” Yes, I said it… Dolton doesn’t realize it, but he’s just an “opener.” He simply gets the audience warmed up so I can strut my stuff…

When Seahawks superstar Mack Strong said this is the “FUNNIEST ACT HE’S EVER SEEN!,” it was probably because of me. Also, I entertained on the Samsung stage at the Olympic Games.

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My CRAZY story…

A lady gave an emergency birth at an Animal Hospital (she was on her way to a regular hospital – but the baby wouldn’t wait). Her child got switched on accident.

She went home with an EXTREMELY CUTE baby alligator (ME!).

Now that I’m grown (and sophisticated), I’m on the Board of Tourism for Arkadelphia, Arkansas.

Here’s my plug for the city: (yes, I’m paid each time I promote it)

Do you love humidity? Good news. There’s a city in Arkansas known for unbearable moisture. Come visit Arkadelphia, Arkansas today.

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